
我再次阅读了亚历山大·奇25年前出版的首部小说。这部作品巧妙地将过去与现在交织在一起,深刻描绘了性虐待事件及其后续影响。
Second Read Alexander Chee’s début novel, published twenty-five years ago, collapses past and present in a brilliant account of abuse and its aftermath.
《爱丁堡》是一部让读者交口称赞并争相传阅的作品。就我个人而言,这本书出版一两年后,我在圣路易斯攻读诗歌创作硕士时,我的导师、诗人卡尔·菲利普斯递给我一本并叮嘱我务必立即阅读。他从未对其他任何书做过类似举动,于是我立刻照做了。那时我23或24岁,这部小说从此成为我艺术生涯起步阶段的重要精神指引,宛如美学坐标系中的一个坐标点。
“Edinburgh” is the kind of book that readers talk about in whispers and pass from hand to hand. I mean this literally, at least in my case: I found it, only a year or two after it came out, because my teacher, the poet Carl Phillips—I was doing an M.F.A. in poetry, in St. Louis—handed a copy to me and told me I had to read it right away. He never did this with any other book, and I didn’t waste any time doing as he said; and so the novel took its place, when I was twenty-three or twenty-four, in that private constellation that I looked to for guidance as I started out in a life in art-making. A point on an aesthetic compass.
彼得去世后,对他的思念对我而言就像在冰冷的湖水中游泳:其他人都沐浴在夏日暖阳下欢笑着。这便是无人向我询问的问题的答案。
What We’re Reading After he dies, missing Peter for me is like swimming in the cold spot of the lake: everyone else laughing in the warm water under some too-close summer sun. This is the answer to the question no one asks me.
小说的形式设计正是对心理危机的回应:费伊对时间的感知发生了异变,时间本身成了需要解答的谜题。小说前半部分讲述的正是儿童性虐待这一令人痛心的现实,作者以罕见的情感细腻度呈现了这一切。费伊加入了儿童合唱团,在那里他初次领略到美的魅力,也意识到自己是美的传递者;然而正是那位引导他接触艺术的男子,却对他及其他团员实施了性虐待。
The book’s formal choices respond to a psychological crisis: something has happened to Fee’s experience of time; something has turned time into a question. The story the first half of “Edinburgh” tells is a distressingly familiar one of child sexual abuse, rendered here with uncommon emotional precision. Fee joins a community children’s choir; he has a revelatory experience of beauty, and of himself as a conduit for that beauty; the same man who makes that revelation possible, by introducing him to art, abuses him and other members of the choir.
奇虽未过多描写身体层面的细节,却深刻剖析了施虐行为背后的社会与心理机制。我们得以看到合唱团指挥——团员们称他为“大埃里克”——如何诱导受害者保持沉默,如何让他们产生优越感与归属感;更看到施虐者如何巧妙利用儿童对成人的天然依赖——关注、关爱与教育——来实施侵害。
Chee is sparing of physical detail but unsparing in dissecting the social and psychological dynamics of abuse. We see how the choir director—the choir calls him Big Eric—enlists his victims in communal silence, how he makes them feel special, members of an elect; we see how he makes use of precisely what children need from adults (attention, affection, education) to victimize them.