
我花了八年时间接受转化治疗,试图治愈教会领袖所称的我的“核心创伤”。我接受了基督教心理学家的个人治疗,他们声称能够帮助我改变性取向。我参加了当时最大的转化治疗组织“出埃及国际”举办的会议和静修活动。我加深了自己的信仰,并在教会全职工作中建立了自己的事业。我做了他们告诉我的每一件事,但我的性取向从未改变。
I spent eight years in conversion therapy trying to heal what church leaders called my “core wounds.”I did individual therapy with Christian psychologists who claimed they could help me change my sexual orientation. I went to conferences and retreats hosted by Exodus International, the largest conversion therapy organization of its time. I deepened my faith and built a career in full-time church work. I did everything I was told to do, but my sexual orientation never changed.
当我最终放弃转化治疗时,我带着焦虑、抑郁、宗教创伤以及必须靠自己努力才能摆脱的物质滥用问题离开了。
When I finally dropped out of conversion therapy, I walked away carrying anxiety, depression, religious trauma, and a substance abuse problem I had to fight my way out of.
如今,当初吸引我走进那些房间的那个承诺——即可以通过祈祷消除同性恋倾向——正以不同的措辞被重新提出。推动这一转变的一个团体自称“CHANGED运动”。其网站上写着“为LGBTQ+群体提供一条新的前进之路”,并承诺为那些希望摆脱LGBTQ+身份的人带来自由。该组织声称,接受LGBTQ+身份会将一个人困在“无法治愈的创伤之中”。我非常熟悉这种观点。在转化治疗中,我被教导说,我的性取向证明我内心存在创伤,只要我付出足够的努力,就能治愈它。
Today, the promise that drew me into those rooms—that I could pray the gay away—is being made in different words. One group driving this shift calls itself the CHANGED Movement. Its website offers “A New Way Forward For LGBTQ+” and promises freedom for people who want to leave an LGBTQ+ identity behind. It says accepting an LGBTQ+ identity locks a person into “a life of unhealed trauma.”I know that idea well. In conversion therapy, I was taught that my sexual orientation was evidence of something wounded inside me, and that if I did enough work, I could heal it.
“CHANGED运动”正在将这一信息传播到教会之外。上个月,其联合创始人伊丽莎白·沃宁在美国心理学协会认证委员会的一次联邦顾问委员会会议上发言。该委员会负责为培养心理学家的项目制定标准。沃宁认为,目前的培训正在教导咨询师肯定LGBTQ+身份,却未能充分尊重那些希望按照不同信念生活的人。
CHANGED is taking that message beyond churches. Last month, its co-founder Elizabeth Woning spoke before a federal advisory committee meeting about the American Psychological Association’s Commission on Accreditation, which sets standards for programs that train psychologists. Woning argued that counselors are being trained to affirm LGBTQ+ identities without adequately respecting clients who want to live according to different convictions.
需要明确的是,CHANGED 并非为了其自身项目而寻求美国心理学会(APA)的认证。APA 的委员会所寻求的是作为认证机构继续获得联邦认可(这关系到执照发放和资金),并将这种认可扩大到硕士项目。Woning 敦促委员会不要批准这一扩展。在听取了一系列投诉之后,其中包括有关 APA 认证项目中存在反犹太主义行为的指控,该委员会建议暂停该委员会的联邦认可一年。美国教育部尚未做出最终决定。CHANGED 并未促成这一结果,却声称自己取得了胜利。
To be clear, CHANGED was not seeking APA accreditation for its own programs. The APA’s commission was seeking continued federal recognition (which drives licensure and funding) as an accreditor and an expansion of that recognition to master’s programs. Woning urged the committee to withhold the expansion. After hearing a range of complaints, including allegations of antisemitism in APA-accredited programs, the committee recommended suspending the commission’s federal recognition for one year. The Department of Education has yet to make a final decision. CHANGED did not drive that outcome, but claimed victory for it.
CHANGED 的论点背后,正是我曾经被灌输的相同信念:认为 LGBTQ+ 的身份是未愈合创伤的一种表现。确实,与同龄人相比,LGBTQ+ 群体经历焦虑、抑郁和自杀倾向的比例更高。但这并不是我们成为“酷儿”的原因。真正造成这种情况的是,当我们被教导认为“酷儿”意味着“残缺”时,我们所遭受的排斥、羞耻以及将我们的存在视为需要解决的问题的神学观念。
Underpinning CHANGED’s argument was the same belief I was once taught: that being LGBTQ+ is a symptom of unhealed trauma. It is true that LGBTQ+ people experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidality compared to their peers. But that’s not what makes us queer. It’s what happens to us when we’re taught that being queer makes us broken, through rejection, shame, and theology that treats who we are as a problem to be fixed.
包括 APA 在内的大型医学和心理健康协会,均已将试图改变个人性取向或性别认同的做法认定为无效且有害。发表在《美国公共卫生杂志》上的同行评审研究指出,接受“转化疗法”的 LGBTQ+ 年轻人报告自杀未遂的可能性,是未接受此类治疗者的两倍多。Woning 所推崇的意识形态,恰恰制造了它声称要治愈的那些创伤。
Major medical and mental-health associations, including the APA, have rejected efforts to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity as ineffective and harmful. Peer-reviewed research published in the American Journal of Public Health found that LGBTQ+ young people subjected to conversion therapy were more than twice as likely to report attempting suicide as those who had not. The ideology Woning promotes creates the very wounds it claims to heal.
美国心理学会(APA)的听证会并非“CHANGED”组织首次试图重塑围绕转化疗法的法律与保护措施。该组织曾在“Chiles诉Salazar案”中提交过“法庭之友”意见,支持一位挑战科罗拉多州禁止对未成年人实施转化疗法规定的基督教顾问。今年3月,美国最高法院站在了她一边,裁定该禁令很可能侵犯了她的言论自由权。沃宁在证词中将这些意见文件作为证据,指出APA正在侵犯言论自由。
The APA hearing wasn’t CHANGED’s first attempt to reshape the laws and protections around conversion therapy. The group filed amicus briefs in Chiles v. Salazar, supporting a Christian counselor who challenged Colorado’s ban on conversion therapy for minors. In March, the Supreme Court sided with her, ruling that the ban likely violated her free speech rights. In her testimony, Woning pointed to those briefs as evidence that the APA was violating freedom of speech.
世界许多地区正朝着相反的方向发展。加拿大、德国、法国、墨西哥、新西兰和巴西均已对转化疗法采取禁令或限制措施,其中一些国家甚至施加了刑事处罚。英国也正逐步在全国范围内禁止这种做法,而沃宁在7月对此表示谴责。
Much of the world is moving in the opposite direction. Canada, Germany, France, Mexico, New Zealand, and Brazil have adopted bans or restrictions on conversion practices, with several imposing criminal penalties. The U.K. is moving toward banning the practice nationwide, which Woning decried in July.
即使在美国那些已实施禁令的州,禁止转化疗法的规则也仅适用于持牌治疗师,且通常只针对他们为未成年人提供的服务。在一个教堂地下室里独立教授“CHANGED”课程的组织并未受到这些法律的影响,只要他们不是持牌治疗师或心理学家。而且这种做法仍在增长。“Trevor Project”发现,报告称自己受到转化疗法威胁的LGBTQ+年轻人比例在一年内翻了一番,从11%升至22%。
Even in the U.S. states with bans, the rules prohibiting the practice of conversion therapy only apply to licensed therapists, and usually only to their work with minors. A group independently teaching CHANGED’s curriculum in a church basement is untouched by those laws, as long as they’re not licensed therapists or psychologists. And the practice is growing. The Trevor Project found that the share of LGBTQ+ young people who reported being threatened with conversion therapy doubled in a single year, from 11% to 22%.
“CHANGED”及其类似组织无需政府许可即可在教堂内运行其项目。但根据沃宁的证词,他们似乎正寻求让这种做法获得合法性,希望其服务能被保险公司报销,并从APA的有害行为清单中移除。
CHANGED and groups like it don’t need government permission to run their programs in churches. It does seem, based on Woning’s testimony, that they are looking for that practice to be legitimized and for it to be billable by insurance and removed from the APA’s list of harmful practices.
“CHANGED”的两位创始人均非心理学家、持牌治疗师或医生。沃宁的学位是神学。她的联合创始人肯·威廉斯则拥有市场营销与金融的学士学位。然而,他们仍以自己所坚持的、声称受言论自由保护的宗教信仰为依据,向政府机构提出重塑心理健康护理标准的请求。
Neither of CHANGED’s founders is a psychologist, a licensed therapist, or a physician. Woning’s degree is in ministry. Her co-founder, Ken Williams, holds a bachelor’s degree in marketing and finance. Yet they go before government bodies asking to reshape the standards of mental health care, on the strength of religious convictions they insist are protected speech.
如今,他们已受到权势圈层的欢迎。今年四月,两人受邀前往华盛顿参加“美国读圣经”活动。这项为期一周的公开圣经诵读活动旨在庆祝美国建国250周年,其宣传阵容包括参议员泰德·克鲁兹和福音派领袖富兰克林·格雷厄姆。在宣布他们参与活动的社交媒体帖子中,CHANGED写道:“与此同时,我们将直接与立法者探讨我们这个时代最紧迫的一些问题。我们相信,这样的时刻至关重要。我们相信,在场发声至关重要。我们相信,在恰当的场合说出真相至关重要。”
And they’re now welcomed into powerful rooms. In April, the pair were invited to Washington for America Reads the Bible, a weeklong public Scripture reading marking the nation’s 250th birthday, whose promotional lineup included Sen. Ted Cruz and evangelical leader Franklin Graham. In a social media post announcing their participation, CHANGED wrote, “At the same time, we’ll be engaging directly with legislators on some of the most pressing issues of our time. We believe moments like this matter. We believe presence matters. We believe truth spoken in the right rooms matters.”
沃宁的网站阐明了更宏大的目标:她表示,自己“与全球各地的智库和活动家密切合作,以激发深思熟虑的方法和有远见的(社会保守派)措辞,来保护《第一修正案》赋予所有人的权利,从而确保犹太-基督教传统得以延续。”在我接受转变治疗期间,像“出埃及国际”这样的组织曾承诺“改变是可能的”。然而到了2012年,“出埃及国际”的负责人艾伦·钱伯斯承认,他接触过的“99.9%”的人并未经历性取向的改变。一年之后,“出埃及国际”便关闭了。
Woning’s website makes the larger goal clear, saying she works “closely with think tanks and activists worldwide to inspire thoughtful approaches and visionary (socially conservative) language protecting First Amendment rights—for all people—so that Judeo-Christian heritage prevails.”When I was in conversion therapy, groups like Exodus International promised that “change is possible.”Then, in 2012, Exodus’s own president, Alan Chambers, acknowledged that “99.9%” of the people he’d met had not experienced a change in their orientation. A year later, Exodus shut down.
像CHANGED这样的组织延续了这一理念,但改变了其表述方式。家长、临床医生以及所有关心LGBTQ+青年的群体都应该关注此事。我曾多年身处教会地下室——这种意识形态曾经在那里盛行。如今,它显然已蔓延至法庭和联邦听证室,其支持者正在攻击那些保护弱势群体免受其害的组织。而他们接下来要敲开的门,正是治疗师的办公室。
Groups like CHANGED kept the idea and changed the language. Parents, clinicians, and anyone who cares about LGBTQ+ young people should be paying attention. I spent years in the church basements where this ideology used to thrive. It is clear to me that it has now moved into courtrooms and federal hearing rooms, where its promoters are attacking the organizations that protect the vulnerable from it. The next room they are knocking on: the therapist’s office.