多年来，卡特里娜·道奇和她的母亲加布里埃莱一直能够畅所欲言，但最近，由于分离主义问题，她们的关系出现了一些紧张。
For years, Katrina Dodge and her mother Gabriele have been able to talk about anything and everything, but recently there has been some strain in their relationship over the issue of separatism.
卡特里娜在南顿长大，如今居住在卡尔加里，她主张阿尔伯塔省继续留在加拿大。但她的大多数家庭成员，包括她的母亲加布里埃莱，都支持举行第二次具有约束力的独立公投。
Katrina, who grew up in Nanton and now lives in Calgary, is a proponent of Alberta remaining in Canada. But the majority of her family, including her mother Gabriele, is voting for a second, binding referendum on independence to be held.
“这显然有点让人感到孤立。有时也会让人有点焦虑，”卡特里娜说。
“It’s a little bit isolating, obviously. It’s a bit anxiety-inducing at times,” Katrina said.
视频：公投投票的诚信是首要任务：阿尔伯塔选举局。卡尼在周一的阿尔伯塔公投投票前，将联邦主义推动带到卡尔加里。阿尔伯塔应该分离吗？以下是这些加拿大人如此感受的原因。虽然卡特里娜表示这不会让家庭晚餐或聚会变得尴尬，但她说有时会变得紧张，并补充说与家人进行对话有时很难处理。
VideoIntegrity of referendum vote is a top priority: Elections Alberta Carney brings federalist push to Calgary ahead of Monday's Alberta referendum vote Should Alberta separate? Here's why these Canadians feel the way they do While Katrina said it doesn’t make family dinners or gatherings awkward, she said it can sometimes be tense, adding it can be tricky to navigate conversations with her family.
“有时候会停下来，真的倾听，找到一个我可以插入反对观点的点，或者尝试提供一些其他看待事物的方式，以促进更多的理解，”她说。母亲加布里埃莱说，她和卡特里娜已经达成了共识。
“Sometimes there’s taking pause and really listening to find a point where I can interject with an opposing view or try to lend some other ways to look at things, to sort of foster more understanding,” she said. Mom Gabriele said she and Katrina have come to an understanding.
“她知道我的感受，我也知道她的感受，所以我们尽量不进入彼此让对方感到不舒服的……空间，或者我感到不舒服的空间，”加布里埃莱说。底线常常在他们关系中发挥重要作用。
“She knows how I feel and I know how she feels so we try not to get into each other’s … spaces where she feels uncomfortable or I feel uncomfortable,” Gabriele said. Guardrails often play an important role in their relationship.
“我们学会了说‘这太私人了’或者‘这让我困扰。我们可以换个话题吗？’我们通常都会这样做，”她说。
“We have learned to say that ‘This is too personal’ or ‘This bothers me. Can we change the subject?’ And we usually do,” she said.
虽然卡特里娜说她的家人对他们的政治分歧很友善且尊重，但她承认这可能会很艰难。
While Katrina said her family is kind and respectful of their political differences, she admits it can be trying.
“我肯定会试着关注自己的身体，问自己：‘我有足够的情感和心理能力来应对这个吗？我是不是特别累而且易怒？在我进行深入的辩论之前，我需要吃点零食吗？’”她说。而母亲加布里埃莱则说，健康的尊重能起到很长远的作用。
“I definitely try to check in with my body and ask, ‘Do I have the emotional, mental capacity for this? Am I super tired and cranky? Do I need a snack before I have a deep sort of debate?” she said. Whereas mom Gabriele said a healthy respect goes a long way.
“她有权拥有自己的感受和观点，我也觉得我有权拥有我的感受和观点……如果我们靠近了我们知道会伤害对方的事情，我们就会暗示一下，或者说，‘好吧，你现在说的东西不公平’，然后我们就停下来，”她说。
“She has a right to her feelings and opinions and I feel I have a right to mine … If we get too close to what we know hurts the other, we kind of give a sign or we say, ‘Okay you’re now saying something that’s not fair’ and we stop,” she said.
对关系的影响 分离主义已经主导了阿尔伯塔省数月的对话，最近的数据显示它正在影响人际关系。
Impact on relationships Separatism has dominated conversations in Alberta for months and recent data shows it is affecting relationships.
阿巴库斯数据（Abacus Data）9月份的调查显示，23%的受访者表示关于分离主义的对话已经让关系紧张，而38%的受访者表示他们一直在回避提及这个问题，担心这会导致争吵。
Numbers from Abacus Data from September show 23 per cent of those surveyed said conversations about separatism have strained relationships while 38 per cent say they have avoided bringing up the issue over worries it would lead to an argument.
调查对象为1000名阿尔伯塔省居民，调查时间为9月4日至7日。该报告的误差范围大约为正负3.1个百分点，即20次中有19次落在此范围内。
One thousand Albertans were surveyed between Sept. 4 to 7. The report has a margin of error of roughly plus or minus 3.1% points, 19 times out of 20.
首席执行官大卫·科莱托（David Coletto）表示，很明显，在这个问题上存在深刻的分歧，他称这些数据“令人担忧”。“我认为这些数据反映了一个在双方都高度情绪化的时刻的现实，以及当这种情绪介入关系时可能发生的事情，”他说。
CEO David Coletto said it’s clear there are deep divides over the issue and calls the numbers “concerning.”“I think they reflect the reality of a moment that’s highly emotionally charged on both sides and what can happen when that gets in between a relationship,” he said.
虽然焦点一直放在公投日之前的准备工作上，但也有人担心公投之后会发生什么。
While focus has been on the lead-up to referendum day, there is some worry over what happens in its aftermath.
“大多数阿尔伯塔人也相信，无论10月19日发生什么，这场辩论、这种紧张和这种分裂都将持续一段时间。他们不抱太大希望，即如果有明确多数人希望留在加拿大，这种情况会在第二天就消失，”科莱托说。
“Most Albertans also believe that no matter what happens on October 19th, that this debate and this tension and this divide is going to continue for some time. There’s not a lot of hope that, if there is a clear majority who want to stay in Canada, that this is going to go away the next day,” Coletto said.
心理学家的建议 来自Solace Psychology and Wellness的注册心理学家瓦内萨·古德奇尔德（Vanessa Goodchild）表示，分离主义对人际关系的影响在她与来访者的会谈中正变得越来越常见。
Recommendations from psychologists Vanessa Goodchild, a registered psychologist with Solace Psychology and Wellness, said separatism’s impact on relationships is presenting itself more often during sessions with clients.
“如果家人不同意你和你的观点，可能会产生怨恨和挫败感，”她说。
“There can be resentment and frustration if your family members don’t agree with you and with your viewpoint,” she said.
古德柴尔德指出，与其试图改变家人的想法，不如学会求同存异。她强调，开诚布公的沟通以及设定适当的界限至关重要。
Goodchild said it should be less about trying to change their mind and more about learning how to agree to disagree, adding that open communication and setting boundaries can be key.
“这并不是要与家人疏远或断绝联系，而是为了保护与家人的关系，避免做出日后可能后悔的事情，”她说道。
“It’s not about stepping away from your family or cutting them off. It’s just about protecting your relationship with your family and not doing something that you may regret later,” she said.
古德柴尔德建议，家人之间可以一起开展大家都喜欢的活动，比如散步或共进晚餐，也可以聊聊日常琐事。
Goodchild suggests families should focus on doing activities everyone enjoys, such as family walks or family dinners, and having conversations about other day-to-day things.
“不要让任何政治分歧左右你们的关系，毕竟你们之间还有许多值得珍视的纽带，”她说道。
“Don’t let any kind of political disagreement really define your relationship because there’s other things that you value with this person or within this relationship,” she said.
尽管家庭关系受到了一定影响，卡特里娜表示，她并不认为有关艾伯塔省独立的争论导致了家庭分裂。
Family over politics Even though family dynamics have been affected, Katrina said she doesn’t believe the debate over Alberta independence has pulled her family apart.
“归根结底，我们依然深爱着彼此。我们能够坐下来交流，我觉得这一点至关重要，”她说，并强调接纳不同观点同样很重要。
"I know that we still love each other at the end of the day. We can have conversations, which I think is so important," she said, adding that engagement with diverse opinion is important.
“唯有如此我们才能学习、成长并向前迈进。虽然我们无法强行改变他人的想法，但至少可以……运用自己的思考能力。”对加布里埃莱而言，家庭永远高于政治。
“That’s the only way we can really learn and grow and move forward and you can’t really change minds but you can … use your mind." For Gabriele, family will always trump politics.
“政客会更替，政党也会变化，但我的家人始终不变。我的孩子们永远是我的孩子，我深爱着他们，”她说道。
“Politicians change and political parties change but my family doesn’t. My children are my children and they’re going to stay my children and I love them dearly,” she said.