哀悼的仪式经久不衰，其意义在许多文化中都耳熟能详：我们缅怀逝者，标记他们长眠之地，感知与挚爱之人的关系不会因生命终结而断绝，并为他们在来世的境遇祈祷。
The rituals of grief are enduring, their meanings familiar across many cultures: We remember those who have died, we mark the places where their bodies lie, we sense that our relationships with those we love don’t end when their lives do, and we pray for their condition in the afterlife.
天主教徒在万灵节（11月2日）——万圣节后的第二天、诸圣节的次日——纪念亡者。我们探访亡者安息之处，献上鲜花，伫立在镌刻于石碑上的名字前。在那里，在墓园里，我们为他们祈祷，也请求他们在来世为我们祈祷。
Catholics remember the dead on All Souls Day, Nov. 2—the second day after Halloween, the day following All Saints Day. We visit the places where the dead rest, bringing flowers and standing before the names etched in stone. There in the graveyard, we pray for them and ask them to pray for us in the afterlife.
但当这些场所消失时，会发生什么？美国正在迅速远离传统土葬。火葬日益成为常态。全美殡葬业者协会报告称，2025年美国有63.4%的亡者被火化，预计到2045年这一比例将升至82.3%。死亡与特定地点那种古老、质朴的联系——将哀伤与记忆系于实体场所的纽带——正在松动。据北美火葬协会统计，只有20%至40%的骨灰被安葬或安放在公墓。
But what happens when those places disappear? America is rapidly drifting away from traditional burial. The norm has increasingly become cremation. The National Funeral Directors Association reported that 63.4% of Americans who died in 2025 were cremated, and the rate is expected to rise to 82.3% by 2045. The old, earthy connection of death to a particular location—the tie of grief and memory to physical place—is loosening. Only 20% to 40% of cremated remains are buried or interred at a cemetery, according to the Cremation Association of North America.
我们对逝者的记忆或许比以往任何时候都更易获取，保存在照片、社交媒体帖子和数字档案中。但随着我们抛弃墓园，我们不仅面临失去与逝者有形联系的风险，也可能失去一种敬畏、神圣感和精神联结。
Our memories of the dead may be more accessible than ever, preserved in photographs, social-media posts and digital archives. But as we abandon the graveyard, we risk losing not only a tangible connection to the dead but also a sense of awe, sacredness and spiritual connection.
据《国家天主教报》报道，2001年至2024年间，天主教葬礼数量下降了30.3%，而同期天主教人口却增长了9.3%。与此同时，根据英国SunLife公司2023年的一份报告，68%的殡葬从业者表示传统宗教葬礼的数量有所下降。
According to the National Catholic, from 2001 to 2024 the number of Catholic funerals fell 30.3%, even while the Catholic population rose 9.3%. Meanwhile, according to a 2023 report by the U.K.’s SunLife, 68% of funeral directors have seen a drop in the number of traditional religious funerals.
根据《全国殡葬师名录红皮书》（National Directory of Morticians Redbook）的数据，美国殡仪馆的数量一直在稳步下降，从2004年到2021年减少了约13%。根据北美火葬协会（Cremation Association of North America）2022年的一项研究，估计有26%的美国家庭将亲人的骨灰留在家中。这些家庭平均保存骨灰的时间超过6年半，且许多人对最终安放方式没有明确计划。“他们可能先把骨灰放在壁炉架上，后来再挪到衣柜里，”Alba Ministries首席执行官Robert Seelig说。
The number of funeral homes has been steadily declining, down about 13% from 2004 to 2021, according to the National Directory of Morticians Redbook. An estimated 26% of American households have the cremated remains of a loved one at home, according to a 2022 study by the Cremation Association of North America. These households have held the remains for an average of more than 6½ years, and many have no firm plans for their eventual placement. “They start maybe on the mantel and move their way to the closet,” says Robert Seelig, CEO of Alba Ministries.
Seelig先生负责“万灵纪念计划”（All Souls Remembrance Program），该计划为任何信仰的人免费在公墓安葬骨灰。“过去10年里，我们已经安葬了约2万份骨灰，”他说。“我经常看到这种情况，把骨灰留在家里的人感到肩上压着一块大石。因此，通过仪式进行安葬能带来很大的释然。”
Mr. Seelig runs the All Souls Remembrance Program, which inters cremated remains in a cemetery for anyone of any faith, free of charge. “In the past 10 years, we’ve done about 20,000 of them,” he says. “I see this a lot, where people that have remains at home feel a weight on their shoulders. And so there’s a lot of closure with coming in and having a ritual.”
如果没有与特定地点相连的仪式，哀伤就会扭曲，我们与逝者的生前联系也就失去了结构。骨灰漂泊到衣柜和储藏间，我们把如何处理它们的问题留给了后代。“如果父母去世后你能把他们带回家，其实感觉挺好的，”Selig先生说。但这只是暂时的，随后呢？“我们并没有真正学会如何应对这种哀伤。”
Without ritual tied to a place, grief is distorted and our living connections to the dead have no structure. The remains drift to closets and storage spaces, and we pass to later generations the question of what to do with them. “If you can take mom or dad home after they pass on, it actually feels good,” says Mr. Selig. But only for a while, and then what? “We’re not really learning how to deal with that grief.”
这并非反对火葬——天主教会承认火葬是合法且庄严的。这只是对全国范围内远离土葬趋势的担忧。土葬减少意味着对墓地和墓碑的需求减少。这也可能意味着维护收入减少，而这些收入有助于维持公墓的运营。公墓是集体记忆的活景观，如果没有新一代的墓穴，它们将越来越与当代生活脱节。“我相信未来我们会开设新的公墓，”Seelig先生说。
This isn’t a case against cremation, which the Catholic Church recognizes as legitimate and reverent. It is rather a worry about the national trend away from interment. Fewer burials mean less demand for plots and headstones. It can also mean less maintenance revenue that helps sustain these grounds. Cemeteries are the living landscapes of collective memory, and without new generations of graves, they grow increasingly disconnected from contemporary life.“I believe we will open new cemeteries in the future,” Mr. Seelig says. But “they may look and feel different from the ones that were built 200 years ago.”
但“它们的外观和感觉可能与200年前建造的那些截然不同。”骨灰龛可能会变得更加普遍，纪念碑上将放置二维码，供访客扫码链接至逝者生平照片、视频及其他记录的数字档案。我们可能会看到陵墓和室内纪念空间增多。公墓无需占用数百英亩土地，因为陵墓可在小得多的空间内容纳数千份骨灰。但“人们确实希望在公墓看到美感，”西利格说，“无论是雕像还是艺术品——一种神圣的空间，一个圣地。”
Columbaries are likely to become more popular, with QR codes placed on memorials to link visitors to digital archives of photographs, videos and other records of a person’s life. We’re likely to see an increase in mausoleums and indoor memorial spaces. Cemeteries need not take up hundreds of acres, since mausoleums can contain thousands of cremated remains in much smaller space. But “people do want to see beauty in the cemeteries,” Mr. Seelig says, “whether it’s statuary or art—kind of a sacred space, a sanctuary.”We need socially recognized places to grieve—places that last beyond the first few weeks after death.
我们需要社会公认的哀悼场所——能超越离世后最初几周的场所。“你并不真正被允许去优胜美地为撒在那里的妻子哀悼，”西利格说，“那是国家公园，有着不同的用途。”随着万灵节临近，我们或许该思考：当死者被安置在异地时，失去了什么。在基督教信仰中，土葬习俗与复活的应许相连，这赋予了肉体重要性——尊严和意义——甚至在死后依然如此。公墓不仅是安息之地。它是哀伤的景观，是爱意的具象表达，也是提醒我们那些……
“You’re not really allowed to go to Yosemite to grieve the loss of your wife who was scattered there,” says Mr. Seelig. “It’s a national park, it’s got a different purpose.”As All Souls Day approaches, we might consider what is lost when the dead are dislocated. In Christian faith, the practice of burial is tied to the promise of resurrection, which gives the physical body an importance—a dignity and a meaning—even after death. A cemetery is more than a resting place. It’s a landscape of grief, a physical expression of love, and a reminder that those who