吉米·金梅尔周三在布鲁克林现场直播的节目中，谈到了唐纳德·特朗普与包括埃隆·马斯克和马克·扎克伯格在内的主要AI公司首席执行官会面的消息，旨在就所谓的“超级智能”达成协议。
’s rebranding of AI as “super intelligence” and an embarrassing congressional hearing for Senate Republicans. Jimmy Kimmel used his Wednesday show, live from Brooklyn, to address news of a meeting between Donald Trump and the CEOs of major AI companies, including Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, to broker a deal on so-called “super intelligence”.
“其中一些人实际上曾请求政府，拜托，帮忙监管我们，设立护栏，以免我们最终毁灭人类生命，”主持人解释道。“但特朗普不想要那样。他希望AI公司自我监管。
“Some of them have actually asked the government, please, help regulate us, put up guardrails so we don’t end up exterminating human life,” the host explained. “But Trump doesn’t want that. He wants the AI companies to self-police.
“就像《终结者》电影里，终结者在人们礼貌地要求他们停止终结任务时就停手了？这就是他想要的，”他说。“这就像让孩子们自己监管他们的万圣节糖果。根本行不通。
“Like remember how in the Terminator movies, the Terminators stopped when they asked him politely to stop terminating? That’s what he wants,” he said. “This is like asking your kids to self-police their Halloween candy. It doesn’t work.
“而且没有人比这些科技亿万富翁更擅长管理他们的冲动控制了，”他继续说道。“你让他们独自待上一个周末，他们回来时会带着你见过的最丑的卡车。
“And nobody is better at managing their impulse control than these tech billionaires,” he continued. “You leave them alone for one weekend, they come back with the ugliest truck you’ve ever seen.
“这告诉你一切你需要知道的信息，”他在展示一张特朗普签署的“白宫超级智能协议”照片前补充道，上面署名写着“美利坚合众国总统”（Unites States，拼写错误）。
“This tells you all you need to know,” he added before pulling up a photo of Trump’s “White House Accord on Super Intelligence”, signed by, as written, the “president of the Unites States”.
“难道还有比这更好的隐喻来形容这个总统任期吗？在一份关于超级智能的文件上把‘United States’拼错？”金梅尔沉吟道。“这些人没有搞不砸的事。” 塞斯·梅耶斯 而在《深夜秀》上，则关注了美国参议院，生病的前多数党领袖米奇·麦康奈尔在长期住院后终于重返工作岗位。梅耶斯审视了麦康奈尔哑口无言、神情呆滞地走向参议院的镜头，总结道：“那看起来不像一个应该回参议院工作的人。那看起来像爷爷被送往养老院的样子。
“Could there ever be a better metaphor for this presidency than misspelling ‘United States’ on a document about super intelligence?”Kimmel mused. “There’s nothing these people can’t screw up.”Seth Meyers And on Late Night, checked in on the US Senate, where ailing former majority leader Mitch McConnell finally returned to work after a prolonged hospitalization. Meyers examined footage of a mute and dazed-looking McConnell headed to the Senate and concluded: “That does not look like a man who should be going back to work at the Senate. That looks like grandpa on his way to the home.
“那是他们开车送你去‘绿色食品’工厂加工处理时，你脸上的表情，”他讽刺道。
“That’s the expression on your face when they’re driving you to the Soylent Green factory for processing,” he quipped.
“因此，美国参议院近期历史上出现过一些不太光彩的时刻，”他继续说道，“但我从未见过像周二发生的那样令人可悲的事情，当时密苏里州参议员埃里克·施密特对杰克·史密斯进行质询，后者是曾领导多项针对特朗普卸任后调查的前特别检察官。
“So there have been some less than flattering moments in the recent history of the US Senate,” he continued, “but I’ve never seen something quite as pathetic as what happened on Tuesday, when Missouri senator Eric Schmitt questioned Jack Smith,” the former special counsel who led multiple investigations into Trump after his first term as president.
“正如你可能记得的，特朗普多年来一直痴迷于杰克·史密斯，”梅耶斯指出，这位前总统经常称他为“精神错乱”和“特朗普仇恨者”。
“As you might recall, Trump has been obsessed with Jack Smith for years,” Meyers noted, with the president frequently calling him “deranged” and “a Trump hater”.
梅耶斯将特朗普对史密斯的诸多，与他本周对朝鲜独裁者金正恩的赞扬形成对比。“他碰巧是我的一位朋友，”特朗普说。“他喜欢特朗普，不喜欢很多其他人。我大概是世界上他唯一喜欢的人，而我也喜欢他。”
Meyers contrasted the many negative things Trump has said about Smith with his praise this week for the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un. “He’s happens to be a friend of mine,” said Trump. “He likes Trump, doesn’t like a lot of other people. I’m about the only person he likes in the world, and I like him.”
“他之所以喜欢你，大概是因为当你们在一起时，那是他唯一不是屋子里最疯狂的那位‘混蛋’的时候，”梅耶斯反唇相讥。“如果你是一个坏人唯一喜欢的人，那可不是好事！把金正恩换成任何其他反派，你就会听到这有多糟糕——‘你知道，人们不喜欢我这么说，但我和彭尼怀斯相处得非常好。’”但回到施密特身上，他试图证明史密斯以某种方式与涉及佐治亚州选举的阴谋有关，关键证据是史密斯据称于2024年出席了一场亚特兰大老鹰队的NBA比赛。
“He probably likes you because when you’re together, it’s the only time he’s not the craziest motherfucker in the room,” Meyers retorted. “It’s not a good thing if you’re the only person a bad person likes! Replace Kim Jong-un with any other villain and you’ll hear how bad it sounds – ‘You know, people don’t like when I say this, but Pennywise and I get along very well.’”But back to Schmitt, who tried to prove that Smith was, somehow, tied to a conspiracy involving elections in Georgia, with the key piece of evidence being Smith’s alleged attendance at an Atlanta Hawks NBA game in 2024.
“这很难理解，”梅耶斯说。“似乎他想让史密斯承认他去看了一场篮球比赛，这意味着……我不太确定是什么？他说得好像这是确凿证据，但实际上充其量只是一根贴了烟蒂的香蕉？”但结果发现，施密特原本以为能一锤定音的关于“hawks game”（老鹰队比赛）的短信证据，竟然把“Hawks”（老鹰队，亚特兰大职业球队）和“Hawkeyes”（爱荷华大学鹰眼队，史密斯2024年确实去看过比赛的大学球队）搞混了。
“This is very hard to follow,” said Meyers. “It seems as though he’s trying to get Smith to admit that he attended a basketball game, which means … I’m not quite sure what? He’s talking like it’s a smoking gun, when at best it’s a banana with a cigarette taped to it?”But it turns out that Schmitt’s would-be slam dunk evidence of text messages about a “hawks game” in fact confused the “Hawks”, the Atlanta team, with the “Hawkeyes”, the University of Iowa college basketball team that Smith did watch play in 2024.
“这是一场令人作呕的表演，但你们其实根本不在乎，”迈尔斯对国会共和党人说道，“你们唯一关心的，就是为右翼媒体吹鼓手炮制‘热沼泽’内容，哪怕这意味着让自己颜面尽失。”
“This was a pathetic display, but you guys don’t actually care about that,” said Meyers, addressing congressional Republicans. “All you care about is generating fever swamp content for your rightwing media boosters, even if it means humiliating yourself.”