“当然，我们不需要法律！我相信我们可以信任这些人，”乔丹·克莱珀在《每日秀》节目中说道。当时特朗普要求这些科技高管自我约束、自我监督。
“Sure, we don’t need laws! I’m sure we could trust these guys,” Jordan Klepper said of technology executives on “The Daily Show,” after Trump asked them to police themselves.
欢迎收看《深夜新闻汇总》——这是一档总结前一晚重要新闻的节目，既能帮助您安心入睡，也能让我们在观看喜剧节目的同时赚取报酬。以下是目前Netflix平台上最受欢迎的50部电影。
Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy.
智能技术的超级未来：周二，特朗普总统与科技行业领袖们会面，埃隆·马斯克、马克·扎克伯格和杰夫·贝索斯等人出席了会议，并共同签署了一份自愿性协议，承诺遵守人工智能安全相关的规定。特朗普在周二下午白宫外表示：“他们真的会互相监督、互相约束的。”
Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
在周三的《每日秀》节目中，乔丹·克莱珀将白宫举行的午餐会比作“最后的晚餐”——只不过在场的所有人都自认为是上帝之子罢了。他说：“当然，我们根本不需要法律！我相信我们完全可以信任这些人。”
The Super Future of Intelligence President Trump met with tech leaders on Tuesday, with Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos among the attendees who signed a voluntary agreement to adopt A.I. safety policies.
“你们真的希望这些企业能够自我监管吗？就连扎克伯格都管不住我阿姨，她总在我所有的照片下评论：‘这不是短信，黛安阿姨，你是在我的Instagram页面上发的。所有人都能看到这些评论。’”“我并不是说他们签署的那份自我监管协议有多重要（或者说他们根本没认真阅读这份协议），但我可以肯定的是，他们在‘United States’（美国）这个词的拼写上出了错。”
“They’re really going to be policing each other,” Mr. Trump said on Tuesday afternoon outside the White House.
“看看这个签名：‘Donald J. Trump，‘United States’（美国）的总统。’对于这样一个涉及‘超级智能’的协议来说，还有比在文件中把‘United States’拼错更好的比喻吗？”——吉米·金梅尔（《The Punchiest Punchlines》系列）“特朗普总统昨天与包括埃隆·马斯克、马克·扎克伯格、英伟达首席执行官黄仁勋在内的科技行业高管们举行了一场关于人工智能的会议。”
Jordan Klepper likened the White House luncheon to “the last supper if everyone there believed they were the son of God” on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
“特朗普总统刚刚宣布，他和所有主要科技领袖都已签署了一份自我监管人工智能的协议。所以，别担心人工智能的问题了——我们完全有‘诚信机制’来保护我们。”——吉米·法伦“是啊，科技领袖们当然会自我监管了……不过，任何在万圣节时分发糖果的人不都只会说‘祝你们好运’吗？”——吉米·法伦“他们签署的不过是一份‘具有道德约束力的协议’罢了，其实这和随便许下的承诺没什么两样。”
——吉米·法伦“特朗普希望这些人工智能公司能够自我监管。还记得在《终结者》系列电影里，当人们礼貌地请求终结者停止攻击时，终结者就会停止行动吗？”——吉米·金梅尔“在这些科技亿万富翁看来，没有人比他们更擅长控制自己的冲动了。”
“Sure, we don’t need laws! I’m sure we could trust these guys.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“You want them to police themselves? Zuckerberg can’t even police my aunt from commenting on all of my pictures: ‘This is not a text message, Aunt Diane, you’re on my Instagram page. Everyone can see this,’.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“I’m not saying that this self-policing document they signed is [expletive] that they barely bothered to read, but I will say they did misspell ‘United States.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Look at this signature: Donald J. Trump, President of the ‘Unites States.’ Could there ever be a better metaphor for this presidency than misspelling ‘United States’ on a document about ‘super intelligence?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL The Punchiest Punchlines (Pinky Promise Edition)“President Trump held a meeting on A.I. yesterday with tech executives including Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Nvidia C.E.O. Jensen Huang and, this can’t be too good, the T-1000.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to a character from the “Terminator” franchise“President Trump just announced that he and all of the major tech leaders have signed an agreement to self-regulate A.I. So, don’t worry about A.I. — we’re fully protected by the honor system.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, tech leaders will regulate themselves. Yeah, anyone who’s ever put out a bowl of candy on Halloween was like, ‘Good luck with that.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, they all signed a ‘morally binding agreement,’ which is one step below a pinky promise.” — JIMMY FALLON“He wants the A.I. companies to self-police, is what he said. Like, remember how in the “Terminator” movies, the Terminator stopped when they asked him politely to stop terminating?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Nobody is better at managing their impulse control than these tech billionaires. You leave them alone for one weekend, they come back with the ugliest truck you’ve ever seen.” — JIMMY KIMMEL The Bits Worth Watching Robert DeNiro cosplayed as the chairman of the F.C.C. on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” which is broadcasting from Brooklyn this week.
“你把它们放了一周末不管，结果它们却变回了你见过最丑的卡车。”——吉米·基梅尔（Jimmy Kimmel）
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night Dakota Johnson will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
值得关注的节目：罗伯特·德尼罗（Robert DeNiro）在周三播出的《吉米·基梅尔直播秀》（Jimmy Kimmel Live）中扮演了美国联邦通信委员会（FCC）的主席。该节目本周在布鲁克林录制。
周四晚上的亮点：达科塔·约翰逊（Dakota Johnson）将出现在周四晚上的《赛斯·梅耶斯深夜秀》（Late Night with Seth Meyers）中。
另外推荐：艾琳·李·卡尔（Erin Lee Carr）的新纪录片重新审视了2004年的整形节目《The Swan》——该节目为32名女性实施了大规模的整形手术，同时也预示了当时美容文化的发展方向。
Also, Check This Out Erin Lee Carr’s new documentary revisits the 2004 makeover show “The Swan,” which gave 32 women extensive plastic surgery and anticipated where beauty culture was headed.