“他们也会杀了你”：索尼娅·甘地在印度政坛的动荡历程'They will kill you too': Sonia Gandhi's turbulent journey in Indian politics

Sonia Gandhi has been one of the most powerful political figures in India's history On the morning of 31 October 1984, Sonia Gandhi was a young wife and mother, living in the prime minister's residence in Delhi. She was about to take a bath when she heard shots ring out in the garden.

Her mother-in-law, Indira Gandhi, India's prime minister, had just left for her office in an adjoining building. Moments later, she would be assassinated by two of her Sikh bodyguards, in retaliation for the Indian army's storming of the Golden Temple in Amritsar, Sikhism's holiest shrine, earlier that year.

The sound was like firecrackers, but "different". The children's nanny came pounding on the bathroom door, hysterical, pointing towards the garden.

Sonia ran towards the path. A white Ambassador car was moving slowly towards her. Inside, Indira lay covered in blood, her sari stained, her eyes open, her face wearing what Sonia remembered as a look of surprise.

"Mummy, Mummy," she tried to say. No words came. At the hospital, she waited for hours before a doctor's shake of the head told her what she feared.

The ordeal did not end there. Rajiv Gandhi, her husband and the elder son of Indira Gandhi, summoned from a rally in West Bengal, arrived to tell her that party leaders wanted him to become prime minister.

Sonia's response was fury and terror. "They will kill you; they will kill you, too!" she pleaded. Rajiv replied: "They will kill me anyway." That evening, as Indira's body lay at home, Rajiv was sworn in.

It is one of the most searing passages in Belonging: A Journey of Love, Sonia Gandhi's new memoir: private devastation unfolding alongside the pressures of public life.

The woman who had largely stayed away from politics was now married to India's prime minister, and would eventually find herself at the head of the Congress party, leading it through two general election victories and becoming one of the country's most consequential political figures.

The passage also foreshadows another devastating loss. In 1991, Rajiv himself was assassinated.

Getty Images Indira Gandhi was asssassinated by her Sikh bodyguards in October 1984 For Sonia, the years that followed were marked by retreat.

At 19, a young woman from a small Italian town, she had met Rajiv, an Indian student, in England. Their relationship took her into a new country and family, and a close bond with Indira followed. India became home through her husband and her mother-in-law.

After Rajiv's killing, even the public appearances required by the memorial trusts she headed became an ordeal. Before speeches, she feared tears would overwhelm her.

When the Dalai Lama asked whether she felt vengeful towards her husband's killers, she answered, "No, I don't," and burst into sobs. Slowly, she writes, Rajiv became "a presence within me rather than a piercing absence".

But grief returned at family milestones. At her son Rahul's Cambridge graduation in 1995, she and her children were overcome by the thought of how proud Rajiv would have been.

Politics, meanwhile, was closing in. The Congress party, the political vehicle of her husband's family for generations, was losing cohesion and electoral ground. Senior leaders were defecting, and the calls for Sonia to step in were growing louder.

She initially refused. She writes she had seen politics through Rajiv: its achievements, but also its "ambition and greed, hypocrisy and treachery". "I'd always disliked politics," she writes. It had taken first her mother-in-law, then "the love of my life, my children's father".

Yet the party's decline began to feel personal. Walking past photographs of Indira and Rajiv, she was seized by "a mixture of pain and guilt". She feared that the forces they had fought to "protect India's pluralistic ethos" were gaining ground: a rising Hindu nationalism that, in her view, threatened the "secular and pluralistic vision" of India they had sought to defend.

Congress leaders argued that without her, the party could splinter, leaving little to resist communal politics. The family name, she believed, carried an appeal beyond religion, caste, language and region. This, she says, was "the most compelling argument".

Rajiv Gandhi took oath as India's youngest prime minister hours after his mother's death Her doubts were also about her own credentials. How could an outsider occupy a position held by two formidable figures? At home, Rahul and Priyanka feared losing their mother as they had lost their grandmother and father. Before a New Year holiday, they extracted a promise: "Don't you do anything crazy while we're away." The "answer", she says, came through the Bhagavad Gita Though not religious in adult life, Sonia arranged private lessons with a Sanskrit scholar in January 1997. They read the text verse by verse.

She writes that its central message – to perform one's dharma, or duty, without attachment to the fruits of one's actions – eventually resolved her inner conflict. "I had the answer to my own doubts and questions. I had to step out and go where my duty called.

And I did." The memoir's most dramatic political scene, however, comes seven years later, after Congress's 2004 election victory Sonia had led the party's campaign. Sonia goes with Manmohan Sing h to meet India's president at the presidential palace in Delhi and formally stake the Congress-led alliance's claim to form a government.

Everyone assumes she will become prime minister. She says nothing. At home, she tells a senior aide she intends to refuse.

Party workers gather at the gates; senior colleagues demand a meeting. "You fought the election, you led us," says one.

"People believed in you. How can you let them down like this?

Our workers will revolt. You think they'll accept another leader?" Alliance leaders arrive to persuade her. They surround her, she recalls, and one insists: "We will not take no for an answer."

Overwhelmed, she murmurs " Theek hai " - all right. They take it as consent and begin congratulating her. Her children are appalled, she writes.

Rahul storms in: "You said yes?" Her daughter Priyanka urges her not to be forced into a decision. Sonia writes she spends a long night arguing with herself, friends and family. The risk is not merely personal. She believes the main opposition Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) would continue to exploit her foreign birth and that accepting office would allow the controversy to "create havoc" and hurt the country.

By morning she is clear. " I've made up my mind I'm going to stick to my stand," she tells Rahul.

Sonia Gandhi (centre), with daughter Priyanka and son Rahul, at the funeral of Rajiv Gandhi in 1991 She chooses Singh, a trained economist and a party member, instead, describing him as a man "above reproach", with a "deep and consummate understanding of governance".

The book is at its most revealing when it turns from family memory to the India she believes has been lost.

Sonia says that when she entered public life there was "a certain decency and decorum in parliamentary politics". Political attacks and harsh words were not new, but she sees a sharper appetite among those in power "to belittle and torment those who differ from them, to intimidate those they perceive as opponents".

It is, she says, part of a wider international drift towards "a heartlessness that accompanies authoritarian regimes".

Her portrait of prime minister Narendra Modi of the Hindu nationalist BJP is unusually direct. The two have had "practically no real contact", she writes, beyond formal greetings at parliamentary gatherings and occasional exchanges - "

Theek hain, aap " ("Are you all right?") - when she returned from hospital.

"He tends to look away," she says, "avoiding eye contact." Sonia Gandhi with Manmohan Singh, whom she chose as prime minister after declining the post herself when Congress returned to power in 2004 Modi's idea of India, she writes, was shaped by the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) and "affirmed a fundamentalism in which his faith and culture superseded all others".

His is an India of "hierarchy, order, and control"; hers is "an India against hegemony", standing for "inclusiveness, secularism, and social justice".

There is a striking concession amid the polemic - she says she understood Modi's "discomfort with the ruling elite of our times".

Sonia says she felt uneasy in Delhi's privileged drawing rooms, where political conversation seemed "very far removed from the reality of India". Modi's origins, she writes, "may not be as humble as his PR team" suggests, but he "had certainly worked his way to power within the RSS from an underprivileged world". It is a rare acknowledgement of the social distance between the Congress establishment and the electorate Modi came to represent.

The memoir also offers some glimpses of Sonia's encounters with world leaders. She remembers Vladimir Putin as an "engaging personality" who took her on a boat ride in St Petersburg, pointing out monuments along the way.

She says she was impressed by his grasp of geopolitics and his "determination to restore Russia to its former powerful status" - "long before the Ukraine war, a different era".

Sonia Gandhi writes that she and PM Modi (foreground) have had "practically no real contact" A more amusing encounter involved France's Nicolas Sarkozy, who arrived in India in 2008 without his then partner Carla Bruni because they were unmarried.

At a state banquet, the Indian vice-president's wife cheerfully grilled him about when he planned to marry her, whether he missed her and whether a date had been fixed. Sarkozy obligingly answered her questions while messaging Bruni on his phone.

Belonging is not a neutral history. The Bofors gun scandal, which badly damaged Rajiv Gandhi's government and dogged the family for decades, gets a relatively brief treatment.

The 502-page memoir is less forthcoming about the less flattering aspects of Congress's own record. Sonia has much to say about political corruption, hypocrisy and the decline of public standards under her opponents, but largely sidesteps the culture of patronage, cronyism and corruption that dogged Congress during its years in power. There is little reckoning, either, with the party's own share of responsibility for the erosion of public trust.

She is at pains to defend the political inheritance of her husband and mother-in-law, even as the party they built has suffered a prolonged decline. The story she tells is as much about the costs of carrying that inheritance as it is about a woman who says she never wanted the life she ended up leading.

That gives the memoir's final pages an unmistakable melancholy. Sonia, 79, is now a member of the Rajya Sabha, the upper house of parliament. Rahul, 55, is a four-term MP and leader of the opposition; Priyanka, 53, is also a member of parliament.

Sonia says the challenge was to remain faithful to "a just and humane society", through pain and loss, victory and defeat, and the manoeuvring that politics demands. But she ends not with triumph, nor even with the assurance that history will vindicate her.

"At this moment it seems to me that, although I tried my best, I didn't succeed in beating back the forces I'd set out to fight."